This is the next question from an interview about me and my life. The first 14 questions were posted earlier
in this blog, I guess sort of in a reverse order from your perspective. There are 5 more left, and the wrap-up from the first segment, and then 20 more questions in a second segment. I think there could be enough material even for a third segment if it would ever be done, especially from a viewpoint of just how my life and mind has changed from all of this. I can see some notable 'improvements' there. Maybe I will need to ponder that idea a bit and see what I could come up with......alexis
15) What goals did/do you have on becoming a different sex?
My major goal in seeking the sexual reassignment surgery was actually quite simple. It is hard to describe the feelings that I harbored for some many years as I struggled to live as who everyone thought I was, but I knew I wasn’t….that I was not the person I wanted to be. Self image is a major foundation of everyone’s being, and if you are not comfortable with your sex, you are going to have difficulties. I went through years of low self esteem, self-hatred at times, and many years of mental anguish. I affectionately refer to it as “my years of hell.” I contemplated suicide many times, and actually had a 3 prong plan guaranteed to succeed if I ever decided to go through with the notion. But for some reason I didn’t ever lose my will to live. During these years I grew to I detested my male parts in a major way. As I mentioned before, I had seriously thought about calling 911 and then castrating myself. I really wouldn’t wish my experiences on anyone else, as I lived a very miserable existence for a long time. I didn’t seek the transition for sexual reasons, surprisingly, as I am fairly asexual and have been for years. All the many years of struggle with my sexual identity led me to just deciding to avoid sex, period, save for the occasional masturbation. Summing this up, then, it can readily be said that my overriding goal was simply peace of mind.
in this blog, I guess sort of in a reverse order from your perspective. There are 5 more left, and the wrap-up from the first segment, and then 20 more questions in a second segment. I think there could be enough material even for a third segment if it would ever be done, especially from a viewpoint of just how my life and mind has changed from all of this. I can see some notable 'improvements' there. Maybe I will need to ponder that idea a bit and see what I could come up with......alexis
15) What goals did/do you have on becoming a different sex?
My major goal in seeking the sexual reassignment surgery was actually quite simple. It is hard to describe the feelings that I harbored for some many years as I struggled to live as who everyone thought I was, but I knew I wasn’t….that I was not the person I wanted to be. Self image is a major foundation of everyone’s being, and if you are not comfortable with your sex, you are going to have difficulties. I went through years of low self esteem, self-hatred at times, and many years of mental anguish. I affectionately refer to it as “my years of hell.” I contemplated suicide many times, and actually had a 3 prong plan guaranteed to succeed if I ever decided to go through with the notion. But for some reason I didn’t ever lose my will to live. During these years I grew to I detested my male parts in a major way. As I mentioned before, I had seriously thought about calling 911 and then castrating myself. I really wouldn’t wish my experiences on anyone else, as I lived a very miserable existence for a long time. I didn’t seek the transition for sexual reasons, surprisingly, as I am fairly asexual and have been for years. All the many years of struggle with my sexual identity led me to just deciding to avoid sex, period, save for the occasional masturbation. Summing this up, then, it can readily be said that my overriding goal was simply peace of mind.
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