smile

 

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him

An Affair!!

  A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.
  While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
  The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her
in the act.
  For $100, the cabby agrees.

  Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom.
  The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is
his wife
  in bed with another man!
  The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.

  The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money."
  HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
  HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
  HE paid for your baseball & football season tickets.
  HE paid for our house at the lake.
  HE paid for our African safari and  your 4 x 4 SUV.
  HE paid for our Mediterranean cruise.
  HE paid for our golf country club membership, and
  HE even pays the monthly dues!

  Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
  He looks over at the cabby and says, "What would you do?"

  The cabby replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a
cold."