What Happened When My Son Came Out... as Straight

My brother Michael has always been my best friend. After all, growing up, he was the one with whom I played Barbies, choreographed and performed synchronized swimming routines, belted out every song from Annie and argued about what we liked best about a young Jason Bateman.

Michael was totally fabulous, slightly effeminate and possibly gay at a time and in a place where it wasn't discussed, let alone embraced. Growing up, he felt stifled and shameful, like he had to hide his true self because he was a "sissy."
I remember the night when Michael told our mom that he was gay. My mom was crying. She told him not to tell anybody else, just in case he changed his mind. She told him that he was going to Hell. I started to cry too. What was happening to our family and my reality?

Now I get emotional with our mother when she cries and feels like a failure because of her reaction when Michael came out. Once things are said and done, they can't be unspoken or undone; it's one of life's tragedies.

Our mother also regrets showing me that having a gay family member was something to hide, for being less than brave and for placing such importance on trying to please other people. She's said that, at times, her love for her kids didn't triumph over what others would think or say. We've talked about all of this, and I promised her that I'll do better, that I won't repeat her mistakes, that the lessons that she has learned will be put to use by me for the sake of her grandchildren should they be LGBTQ.

I have two boys. My youngest son C.J. was 2 and half when he started, as he explains it, being "a boy who only likes girl stuff and wants to be treated like a girl."

How could it be? How could our family have another boy who liked everything about being a girl? It's history repeating itself, to a certain extent. I have to make sure that only the good parts of the history live on.

Since C.J. started revealing his inner princess, Michael and I have had numerous talks about our childhood and what a child like C.J. -- and Michael -- needs from a parent. My brother and I have grown even closer than we already were, which I would have never thought possible.

Even though I was right there growing up with Michael, I was oblivious to a lot. I talked to him about our childhood. I learned that he felt like he was in survival mode for much of his life. He had secrets, he had shame, and he felt like he made every family photo ugly, all because he loved girl stuff but didn't love girls and felt like he was wrong, a freak and a mistake.

One year after my son started showing signs of childhood gender nonconformity, I got to thinking about the coming-out process.

Is it possible for a homosexual person to never have to come out of the closet? I don't mean staying closeted forever; I mean never even entering the closet. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lori-duron/what-happened-when-my-son-came-out-as-straight