DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland .
They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland
LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went
home.
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FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes
living in
Oklahoma were
sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you
think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The
other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????'
CAR
TROUBLE
A blonde
pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says,
'What's the story?'
He replies,
'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks,
'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING
TICKET
A police
officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license.
She replied
in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!'
RIVER
WALK
There's this
blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other
side?'
The second
blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the
other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S
OFFICE
A gorgeous
young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever
she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead
took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her
elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor
said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no'
she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought
so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway
patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car,
he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL
OVER!'
'NO!' the
blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE
SUN
A Russian,
an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian
said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American
said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde
said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the
American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't
land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the
Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!'
IN A
VACUUM
A blonde was
playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and
she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum
and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then
asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE
JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde
friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The
blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch
dogs'!
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