Question #6 from The Interview of my life

6) When did you decide to get the breast implants?

Interestingly enough, when I first transitioned, I had no intention of having any type of surgery at all. People who transition from one gender to the other can do so in various degrees and stages. It is not always necessary to have surgery if you are simply going to live in the role of the opposite sex, which was my original intention as stated in my letter that I passed out. However, about 18 months after I had transitioned, I began to become unhappy with what I saw in the mirror after I took my silicone breast inserts off night after night….I looked like a ‘boy’ again and I didn’t want to look like that anymore.  My breast inserts were of good quality, and looked well, and as time went on I began to get increasingly more comfortable with my new appearance. So I made an appointment with a plastic surgeon and made the arrangements to have the implant surgery done.  That initial appointment, while positive, was not without some disappointment.  While I was there I found out that I was not going to be able to get the size breasts I wanted, primarily because of a previous surgery I had done at one time, which limited the available skin in which to place the implants on one side.  Additionally, it didn’t help that I had always been so thin.  So, the surgeon and I basically just made an agreement that he would insert the largest implants that he safely could with the available skin, and that he did.  However, at this point in my life, I would like to return to the operating table and have them enlarged--not a lot, but maybe by about 15% to 20% if possible.  Finances, however, will likely keep that from becoming reality, and I can certainly live with the breasts I have now. 

I was planning the breast implant surgery when my mother’s health deteriorated in the latter part of 2004.  On the way up to visit her in the hospital, I did tell my sister what I was planning to do, and she surprisingly voiced no objection to the thought.  I had been struggling with whether even to tell my mother about the surgery, or when and how to tell her.  As her condition continued to deteriorate, I decided not to tell her at that time despite the fact that the day of surgery was drawing very near.  As it turned out, I never had to find a way to explain it to her, as she passed on 5 days before the surgery was to take place, and to this day I will always be able to remember the day she went to a better life in that manner.