Tuesday, June 25, 2013

this isn't new, but I have always loved it

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from
the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball.
I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They
should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite
Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will
be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: No Jews
please."

Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:
Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest
possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of
my best and most prized officers.

One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an
additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship
design. The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and
a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BS in
Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD. In Aeronautical
and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is
also an astronaut candidate.

The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer
systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting
notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech. Finally, the
fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship?s doctor,
with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his
medical degree is from the University of North Carolina. We are very
proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at
Bethesda.

Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and
looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be
escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other
women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap
at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four
handsome, smiling Black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling
herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes
mistakes." 

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