Question #12 from The Interview of my life

(the first 11 questions can be found earlier in this blog)

12) With the procedures that you went through, if you had to do this again in another life would you?

If I understand the question right, Amber, yes I would do the same thing again without any hesitation, but hopefully much sooner in life than I did this time around. I spent way too many years worrying about what ‘everyone else would think’ rather than being concerned about what I needed to do in order to be happy. I went through many years of extreme mental desperation and turmoil because of this. It was not enjoyable, and I would not wish anything like that on my worst enemy. I was miserable. I drank way too much. That decision to be more concerned about what others might think, as compared to what I needed to be happy, had me very close to either committing suicide or contemplating the act of self-castration. Not good! I gradually grew to dislike my ‘male’ anatomy with a passion, and had I not pursued the SRS surgery I am doubtful whether I would have been able to continue with life as it was.

My decision has been very rewarding for me.  In retrospect, I most regret floundering in pity---the :why me syndrome,” for so long.  The procedures themselves were not painful.  The implant procedure wasn’t bad, and pain meds did wonders in the short time it took to heal.  With the major reassignment surgery, remember I was kept sedated for almost 6 days, and was on pain meds, so I never felt any real discomfort there either. 

In my next life, however, I do not plan to have to worry about going through the same turmoil and torment. I’m planning to return as a real girl in my next life and eliminate the need to deal with this situation again. 

I have learned my lesson.