Question #5 from The Interview

5) Did you come out and let your work place know that you were transgender?

I didn’t need to say anything….people figured it out.  There are some people who transition that are actually so much like a genuine girl that they never have to say anything.  I’m not one of those people.  When I went through the sex reassignment surgery, I had the finances for the basic surgery.  I did not have the money for the cosmetic surgery that can make acceptance easier.  I couldn’t afford the facial reconstruction, the throat surgery, or even and rib-cage surgeries.  No one has ever come out and asked me directly whether I was a transgender or transsexual person. And, in reality, very few questions have ever been asked of me about the subject.  But I know the keen observer will always look twice, but in my case, my confidence with my female role will generally overcome that. I have always been very open about the situation with anyone who was curious, and likely some that were not. When I started to plan for the SRS, however, I did tell a few people, whom I am sure told a lot of others, so that was no secret. I am certainly not ashamed of anything I have done and have always felt I could do more good for others of similar feelings by being open and honest, and trying to be a good role model for the transgender community. This long overdue decision has likely been the best one I have ever made. I am very conscious of the fact that I am the first transsexual the majority of people there have ever come in contact with, and that people will form opinions of transsexuals based on how I act in the workplace. I rarely bring the topic up either, but from time to time I will when talking with some individuals who I know are accepting who I am.  And interestingly enough, I have had so many people tell me that they simply can not ever picture me as a guy.  My attitude and demeanor go very well with my new life as Alexis.  I have been so totally amazed at how smoothly this transition to a new style of life has gone.  I knew I had watched other girls for years, and read the magazines, and looked at the ads in an attempt to learn as much as I could.  But I never imagined it would be this easy.  I guess maybe I studied the right things.

That isn’t to say that some situations have arisen that didn’t pose challenges.  Occasionally, for example, there are people who deliberately or accidentally refer to me as  “he.”  When that happens I have to make a quick decision whether to bite my tongue or to say something.  It’s like any other minority-----you have to pick your battles.  Confront too much, and you are seen in one light, yet if you don’t challenge occasionally, you are seem as weak and wimpy.  I remember a couple instances from work that have arisen over the years.  The first one was when I was relatively new, and taking telephone calls.  When we didn’t know what to tell the person on the phone, we called the “help que” which consisted of our senior representatives and asked them for guidance..  One of them continually referred to me as “he” even though we had never met, and she knew better, and I finally grew tired of it one day, went to my supervisor and explained the situation…and it never happened again.  Another time, several years later, I attended a sexual harassment training, and someone was here from another site conducting it.  The training itself was excellent and presented very well. Then at the end the individual made a joke about guys in dresses, which I am sure many people thought was cute.  I didn’t.  I went back to my desk and fumed for a few minutes, and then I went to out Human Resources department and explained my frustrations.  The next morning I was asked to go to HR, and there was the guest from the other site, who wanted to apologize for his comment.  I was totally amazed, and it just went to show the commitment of the company to their diversity policies.  But on the other hand, there are times when you just need to let a comment go for the moment, and hope for better times in the future.  Most people are basically good, and mean no harm, and they can and will change in time.