16) What would you say to others that may want to do a change?
Think hard before you do it. For those who are prepared for the transition, the surgery can be very rewarding. However, there is so much more to the act of transitioning gender roles than simply wearing different clothes. It is a new way of living, with different opportunities and restrictions that typically are put on us by society. It can be a unique challenge, and one that is quite rewarding. If you mean ‘change’ in the concept of having the SRS, remember that when it comes to the Male to Female surgery, there is basically no going back. It’s permanent. Years ago, when the SRS began to become more commonplace, there were several individuals who had the surgery and later regretted it, which resulted in emotional problems and suicides. Because of this the medical community developed certain ethical standards that the majority of physicians around the world follow (the previously mentioned Benjamin Standards), though doctors in certain countries may vary them a little. Even the simple act of transitioning is not as easy as it may seem, as there are always unexpected twists that come up that you are unprepared for, and the way you handle it will make or break your acceptance in your new role. Confidence is a priority for success. You need to be able to ’think on your feet.’ And, another point to keep in mind, surgeons who perform the surgeries talked about here insist on being paid in full before the date of surgery. Sex reassignment surgery is covered by very few private insurance policies.
In order to have your transition be a success, you have to not only have the confidence, but the techniques down also----like makeup, wardrobe, mannerisms and speech. You simply can not act like a guy dressing as a girl. You won’t make it. In my mind, your worst critics, and your best friends, are the other girls. If you can demonstrate your sincerity to them, you will be accepted and respected for what you are doing, and they will welcome you. If not, your life maybe a little more challenging.
Additionally, one needs to keep in mind all that you can lose from your life when you decide to transition. It is not uncommon to lose family, friends and your current employment. In some parts of the country you may not be readily accepted and need to constantly be aware of possible violence against your person. Several times a year I read of a trans person who was found dead, often assaulted and tortured beforehand. It is sad, and a shame, but there are definitely those individuals in the world who believe the person who undergoes the SRS is toying with the will of god---after all, if god had wanted you to be a female, your would have been born that way. These people have the same feelings about gay, and lesbians and others. Fortunately these folks are in the minority, and the majority of your friends and neighbors are willing to accept diversity----to a point, and that the individual who transitions needs to know and understand when to challenge, and when to remain passive and learn to go with the flow, so to speak. As I mentioned elsewhere……pick your battles. And realize this isn’t just you. All minorities are forced to do the same thing every day.
On the other hand, what you lose can often be replaced by new friends and new employment, both of which may well be more accepting of who you now are. I have found this to be very true. The friends I thought I had in my previous life were not what I thought, and I guess I am not truly missing much since their departure. Those that remain a part of my life can, I know, accept me for who I am, as can all the wonderful new people I have met since I transitioned. The end result is that I am a much happier being, and in that respect the decision to go down this road has been a positive one for me.
Think hard before you do it. For those who are prepared for the transition, the surgery can be very rewarding. However, there is so much more to the act of transitioning gender roles than simply wearing different clothes. It is a new way of living, with different opportunities and restrictions that typically are put on us by society. It can be a unique challenge, and one that is quite rewarding. If you mean ‘change’ in the concept of having the SRS, remember that when it comes to the Male to Female surgery, there is basically no going back. It’s permanent. Years ago, when the SRS began to become more commonplace, there were several individuals who had the surgery and later regretted it, which resulted in emotional problems and suicides. Because of this the medical community developed certain ethical standards that the majority of physicians around the world follow (the previously mentioned Benjamin Standards), though doctors in certain countries may vary them a little. Even the simple act of transitioning is not as easy as it may seem, as there are always unexpected twists that come up that you are unprepared for, and the way you handle it will make or break your acceptance in your new role. Confidence is a priority for success. You need to be able to ’think on your feet.’ And, another point to keep in mind, surgeons who perform the surgeries talked about here insist on being paid in full before the date of surgery. Sex reassignment surgery is covered by very few private insurance policies.
In order to have your transition be a success, you have to not only have the confidence, but the techniques down also----like makeup, wardrobe, mannerisms and speech. You simply can not act like a guy dressing as a girl. You won’t make it. In my mind, your worst critics, and your best friends, are the other girls. If you can demonstrate your sincerity to them, you will be accepted and respected for what you are doing, and they will welcome you. If not, your life maybe a little more challenging.
Additionally, one needs to keep in mind all that you can lose from your life when you decide to transition. It is not uncommon to lose family, friends and your current employment. In some parts of the country you may not be readily accepted and need to constantly be aware of possible violence against your person. Several times a year I read of a trans person who was found dead, often assaulted and tortured beforehand. It is sad, and a shame, but there are definitely those individuals in the world who believe the person who undergoes the SRS is toying with the will of god---after all, if god had wanted you to be a female, your would have been born that way. These people have the same feelings about gay, and lesbians and others. Fortunately these folks are in the minority, and the majority of your friends and neighbors are willing to accept diversity----to a point, and that the individual who transitions needs to know and understand when to challenge, and when to remain passive and learn to go with the flow, so to speak. As I mentioned elsewhere……pick your battles. And realize this isn’t just you. All minorities are forced to do the same thing every day.
On the other hand, what you lose can often be replaced by new friends and new employment, both of which may well be more accepting of who you now are. I have found this to be very true. The friends I thought I had in my previous life were not what I thought, and I guess I am not truly missing much since their departure. Those that remain a part of my life can, I know, accept me for who I am, as can all the wonderful new people I have met since I transitioned. The end result is that I am a much happier being, and in that respect the decision to go down this road has been a positive one for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment