He's Got G.A.S.H.

 A man returns from  a trip to Amsterdam and is feeling very ill. He

goes to see his doctor and  is immediately rushed to the hospital to
undergo a series of tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a  private room at the hospital
and the phone by his bed rings.

"This is your doctor," says the voice on the  phone. "We have the
results back from your tests, and I'm sorry, you have  an extremely contagious
and deadly sexually transmitted disease known as  G.A.S.H.

"G.A.S.H?" replies the patient. "What the  hell is that?"

"It's a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS,  syphilis, and herpes," explains
the doctor.

"My gosh, Doc!" screams the man in a panic,  "what are we going to

do?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of  pizza, pancakes and pita
bread," says the doctor  matter-of-factly.

"Will that cure me?"

"Well no," says the doctor, "but it's the  only food that will fit under the door."