Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS:	SAFER:	SAFEST:	ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner?	Can I help you with dinner?	Where would you like to go for dinner?	Here, have some chocolate.
Are you wearing that?	Wow, you sure look good in brown!	WOW! Look at you!	Here, have some chocolate
What are you so worked up about?	Could we be overreacting?	Here's my paycheck.	Here, have some chocolate.
Should you be eating that?	You know, there are a lot of apples left.	Can I get you a glass of wine with that?	Here, have some chocolate.
What did you DO all day?	I hope you didn't over-do it today.	I've always loved you in that robe!	Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For: 

1. Pass My Shotgun 

2. Psychotic Mood Shift 

3. Perpetual Munching Spree 

4 Puffy Mid-Section 

5. People Make me Sick 

6. Provide Me with Sweets 

7. Pardon My Sobbing 

8. Pimples May Surface 

9. Pass My Sweat pants 

10. Pathetic Mood Syndrome 

11. Plainly; Men Suck 

12. Pack My Stuff 

and my favorite one .. 

13. Potential Murder Suspect 

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning. 

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!